We love you dearly, but I really think we need to talk. First, do you really need to hork up a hairball right in the middle of the bed? On sheets I just washed yesterday?! I know I was a little late on making the bed, but even so, there is simply no call for that. Seriously…Adam and I provide you with a good home, lots of love, cat beds, a wondrously huge wooden scratching post, toys, special food (including the wet kind), and kitty grass. All we ask is that you let us love you up, cuddle with us occasionally, and provide some companionship. If I may be so bold, I’d like you to not eat the cat grass and then immediately throw up everything you’ve just eaten. Frankly, that is the quickest way for us to stop growing the kitty grass. We understand that you’re going to have the occasional hairball – you’re covered in fur – but if you could just do that on the wooden floor instead of soft bedding, that would be huge.

Second, if you could try to pee just in the litter box instead of on it, or outside of it, that would really be appreciated. Accidents happen, I get that, but consistently peeing on the side of the litter box? Is that necessary?

A special side note to the grey cat: what’s with all of the yowling? Talking to us is cute, but the yowling in the middle of the night that is loud enough to hear through ear plugs is a little much. You’re clearly trying to communicate with us, and I’m desperately trying to figure out what your major malfunction is because dear God, make the yowling stop! I’ve noticed that you’re often in the bathroom when caterwauling. I’ve started leaving the toilet seat up in case you’re trying to make us always leave it up so you can drink from the bowl (which I NEVER thought I would do). What doesn’t make sense is that you have perfectly good filtered water in your cascading water bowl…and it’s clean! Isn’t that enough? Do you need more attention? I love you up every chance I get, and I know that it can be hard when I don’t let you walk across my computer while I’m using it, but I’m happy to pet you anytime you are in the vicinity. I’ve been lifting the covers in the morning so you can crawl under and sleep for hours. That’s good, right?

So, take some time to reflect on what I’ve asked, and I will continue to love you dearly (even with the horking) and try to keep you all happy.

Love,

Kate

We let our cats out during the day. They enjoy romping outside, and we feel that experiencing the joy of the outside improves their quality of life. This morning it was pouring, so we decided not to offer the cats the option of going out. As we left for Quaker meeting, Lucy slipped past us and out into the rain. We made a half-hearted attempt to catch her, but figured if she really wanted to be out in this weather, who were we to stop her? After all, as Adam likes to say, “she’s not made of sugar.” A few hours later we returned and I heard this frantic meowing as I opened the back door. Lucy bolts past me and through the door, completely soaked. She then proceeds to leave wet spots wherever she sits… Look at what the rain dragged in.